We’re That Fleet

NOTE FROM CARL:

You think you’re on it? Next to us, you
got nothin’, Chump! Check our $#!+ out…

The Top 8 Ways We’re On It

8> We’re on it like Woofy on a cat turd.

7> We’re on it like a Wal-Mart customer on half-price Cheetos.

6> We’re on it like lawyers on a traffic accident.

5> We’re on it like stubble on a Brazilian beach.

4> We’re on it like Robert Downey, Jr. on… well, where to begin…

3> We’re on it like salsa stains and Pop Tart crumbs on unemployed internet humor writers.

2> We’re on it like Godzilla on Tokyo.

and the Number 1 Way We’re On It…

1> We’re on it like facial hair on a Guatemalan hooker.

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Credits:

Selected from 37 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 1 (6th #1!)
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — 2
Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 3
Brad Hamer, Austin, TX — 4
Stephen A Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO — 5
Chuck Salerno, Schaumberg, IL — 6
Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA — 7
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 8
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — Grand Overseer of Obtuse
Funniness (GOOF)

RUNNERS UP list — Slipped Off

We’re on it like a pack of Weight Watchers on a chocolate cake.
(Chuck Salerno, Schaumberg, IL)

We’re on it like a Victoria’s Secret model on Brad Hamer of Austin, Texas.
(Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)

We’re on it like bruises on crack whore.
(Stephen A Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO)

We’re on it like bulges on a tranny.
(Stephen A Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO)

We’re on it like hair on a French girl’s armpit.
(Nathan Sherman, Bellevue, WA)

We’re on it like predatory skeeves on MySpace.
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)

We’re on it like that artificially-colored-and-flavored-powder- of-which-you-think-a-thick-coating-will-be-great-but-really- just-makes-you-wince-from-the-bitterness on a Dorito.
(Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)

We’re on it like white trash on NASCAR.
(Nathan Sherman, Bellevue, WA)