July 27th, 2007



NOTE FROM CARL:
Because we all could use a smile every once
in a while… whether we want it or not!


The Top 8 Ways to Turn
That Frown Upside Down


8> Cheeks. Clothespins. Easy!

7> Multiple face lifts, just like your favorite Hollywood stars of yesteryear! Did you know that Joan Collins is no longer physically capable of frowning?

6> Well, I hear a lot of German chicks are into that kinkier stuff… oh, I thought you said, “frau”.

5> Stand on your frowny head, add some stick-on googly eyes and put on a smiley happy chin-puppet show.

4> Upper gumline banana implant.

3> Using one extended finger on each hand, push the corners of your mouth upwards. If the person making you frown is looking at you, choose the appropriate finger accordingly.

2> Hanging from your ankles upside down on a stripper pole.

and the Number 1 Way to Turn That Frown Upside Down…

1> Pull a gun. Make dem sorry bastards stand on *their* heads. Laugh.




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Credits:

Selected from 21 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 1 (il# fsl iooy-ooM)
Rabbi Crut, McComb, OH — 2
Brad Hamer, Austin, TX — 3, 7, 8 (Hat trick!)
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 4
Lars Eisenberg, Menomonie, WI — 5
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 6, Banner tag
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny