Previous list: 
September 22, 2006
the northern hemisphere, yet many
of us are simply too busy to notice.
That segment of society with nothing
but time, however, is all over this
season-changing thing.
People Know Summer Is Ending
7> All the stylish zombies have stopped wearing white shoes.
6> Satan stops handing out free beachballs with every new doomed
soul.
5> Hands emerging from graveyard soil typically start by brushing
away fallen leaves.
4> Sound of flip-flops dancing on their graves gradually
transitions to sound of galoshes dancing on their graves.
3> The dog poo in the cemetery contains less grass and more dead
leaves.
2> Knowing how much more important they are with November
elections approaching, skeletons in the closet start acting
all snooty.
and Beyond.
Selected from 33 submissions from 11 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 1, 7 (2nd #1!)
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 2, 5, 7 (Hat trick!)
Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA — 3, 6, 7 (Hat trick!)
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — 4
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — 7
Chris White, Studio City, CA — Banner tag
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — Grand Overseer of Obtuse Funniness (GOOF)
drug-addled dropouts and their bitter-tasting meth-brains.
(Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA)
Both leaves and zombies less green: more orange with brown and
plum tones.
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
(Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY)
Brains just aren’t as crisp and juicy as they are at peak season.
(Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY)
Fewer drunk young picnickers horny for a little graveyard nookie
on whom to snack.
(Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA)
No more “Willie Wanker in the Chocolate Factory” since that horny
funeral home intern went back to college.
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
Their skin mold changes from bright colors to more subdued earth
tones.
(Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)
Victim brain content now 50% less baseball, 50% more football.
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)