November 9th, 2007
NOTE FROM CARL:
Let’s see… two ear holes, two eyeholes, two nostrils
and a mouth… how bad could one more hole in the head be?
You wanna know what we REALLY don’t need?…
and a mouth… how bad could one more hole in the head be?
You wanna know what we REALLY don’t need?…
The Top 7 Things We Need
Less Than a Hole in the Head
Less Than a Hole in the Head
7> Some lame-ass, government-mandated lecture on firearm safety precautions.
6> A cattle-prod-equipped alarm clock.
5> H5: the Hummer Mini.
4> More &*$#!ing buttons on the *outside* of our cell phones.
3> My cellmate checking it for size.
2> Underwear made of fish hooks.
and the Number 1 Thing We Need Less Than a Hole in the Head …
1> The professional horse-rendering competition tour.
.
Credits:
Selected from 23 submissions from 6 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Brad Hamer, Austin, TX — 1, 2, 6 (Hat trick!) (11th #1!)
Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 3
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 4, 5, Banner tag
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 7
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny
RUNNERS UP list — Holey Crap
Another infomercial hawking an easy, new way to gain financial
freedom selling real estate using other people’s money.
(Stephen A Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO)
Courtney Love, solo.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
More paparazzi photos of Britney’s battle-scarred hoo-ha.
(Rabbi Crut, McComb, OH)
Our name and address falling into the hands of Cutesy Collectible Knick-Knacks magazine.
(Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)
Purple Nipple Monkey Apple Butter
(Rabbi Crut, McComb, OH)
(Stephen A Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO)
Courtney Love, solo.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
More paparazzi photos of Britney’s battle-scarred hoo-ha.
(Rabbi Crut, McComb, OH)
Our name and address falling into the hands of Cutesy Collectible Knick-Knacks magazine.
(Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)
Purple Nipple Monkey Apple Butter
(Rabbi Crut, McComb, OH)
