Previous list: 
June 5, 2009
Dog Is a Reincarnated War Spy
8> Can bark perfect French, German and Russian, but he’s an
English Bulldog.
7> He keeps making “dead drops” in your front yard.
6> He keeps trying to intercept the messages the cat leaves for
you.
5> A radio antenna and periscope that pop up from the roof of his
dog house everytime you step outside.
4> Barks, “Bonzai,” before running full speed into your minivan.
3> He pisses in Morse code.
2> His high-tech spy gadgets render your tin-foil hat
ineffective! YOU CAN STILL HEAR HIS VOICE IN YOUR HEAD!
train around the tree.
Selected from 23 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
David Bloyer, Comer, GA — 1, 5, 6, 7 (Hat trick!/11th #1!)
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 2
Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA — 3
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 4
Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA — 8
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
He’s always coming in from the cold. And crapping microfilm on
your kitchen floor.
(Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA)
It’s not the cigarette holder or monocle that bothers you as much
as the leather glove he carries on his left front stump.
(Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA)
No matter where you hide your trenchcoat, the dog finds it and
sleeps on it.
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
Only chases Japanese cars.
(Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA)
She’ll only hump your leg if it looks like you’re going to give
her information.
(Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA)