November 16th, 2007



NOTE FROM CARL:
You know, I always thought the little
“specimen cups” looked a little TOO much
like those NyQuil shooter-glasses!


The Top 9 Signs Your “Drug
Test” Wasn’t Really a Drug Test


9> The boss seems completely taken aback when, after asking for your analysis, you leave the meeting room and return with a cup full of pee.

8> The radiologist who squished your breasts in the big machine did not even once say the words “drug test”.

7> You failed because you weren’t using a Number 2 pencil.

6> The bailiff sheepishly admits to confusion about that whole “jury of one’s peers” thing.

5> You’d think the olive would contaminate the sample.

4> The “specimen jar” is a brown plastic bottle, and as you’re leaving you notice that the clinic is next door to a Coors Light brewery.

3> The bathroom lights are *really* bright, and they tell you not to start until you hear the word “action”.

2> The nurse’s assistant in the ratty Warrant T-shirt insists on collecting a breast-sweat sample.

and the Number 1 Sign Your “Drug Test” Wasn’t Really A Drug Test…

1> The intern is giggling uncontrollably, and the specimen container is labeled “World’s Best Boss.”




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Credits:

Selected from 20 submissions from 6 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 1, 2 (12th #1!)
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 3, 4
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 5, 6, 9 (Hat trick!)
Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA — 7, 8
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — Topic
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny