May 11th, 2007



NOTE FROM CARL:
All apologies - your GOOF has a bugger of
a head cold. Please insert your own crisp
witticisms in this space. Thank you.


The Top 8 Signs the
Employment Agency Screwed Up


8> House Painter – He asks if you’re going to want the picture of your house Impressionist, Pointillist or Cubist.

7> Linguist – Translates most phrases “Fifty bucks, same as in town.”

6> Backhoe Operator – The candidate shows up in platform shoes, a purple jumpsuit and enough bling to bring down Mr. T.

5> Drug and Alcohol Counselor – Asks what your plans are this evening, then suggests a merlot, with a couple of tabs of “X” for afterwards.

4> Sith Lord - The candidate wears an iron lung, has a prosthetic right hand and does Barry White karaoke after only 3 beers.

3> Clown – You simply wanted someone to entertain the kids on “Bring Your Kid to Work Day”, and they just sent you the incompetent moron you fired three weeks ago.

2> Taxidermist - Turns out there is more than one way to skin a cab.

and the Number 1 Sign the Employment Agency Screwed Up…

1> School bus driver - After the chaos subsided, it seems everyone but Olivia understood the expectation of dropping all those “midget hitchhikers” off at school.




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Credits:

Selected from 17 submissions from 5 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 1, 2 (7th #1!)
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 3, 5, 8 (Hat trick!), Banner tag
Nathan Sherman, Bellevue, WA — 4, 6
Stephen A Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO — 7
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — Grand Overseer of Obtuse Funniness (GOOF)