April 11th, 2008



NOTE FROM CARL:
Technically, Spring began on March 20th.
Either it slept through its alarm, or Spring
is deliberately dissing Mother Nature.
We’re pretty sure it’s the second one…


The Top 7 Signs Spring
Couldn’t Give a Tinker’s Damn This Year


7> Let’s start with Fort Lauderdale filled with hot college babes in overcoats…

6> It ran over Punxsutawney Phil with a lawn mower.

5> Spring changed her favorite color from green to an icky-gray-brownish-kinda-thing.

4> Does Spring realize how hard it is to have an Easter Egg Hunt in the snow? Especially when you’re too damned lazy to dye them!

3> March really did come in like a lion. It just laid around under a tree and waited for the female months to do all the killing for it.

2> Geese are not flying in a “V” but in a shape which looks suspiciously like a raised middle finger.

and the Number 1 Sign Spring Couldn’t Give a Tinker’s Damn This Year…

1> The first robin of spring stayed south and just posted a video of himself on YouTube.




.

Credits:

Selected from 22 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, MD — 1, 2, 3 (Hat trick!) (Woo-hoo! 1st
#1!)
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 4
David Bloyer, Comer, GA — 5
Chuck Salerno, Fullerton, CA — 6
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 7
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny



RUNNERS UP list — In? Like, You’re Lyin’!

Banjo the Weather Chicken *froze* to death, man! That’s just *wrong*!
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)

Persephone ate 3 more pomegranate seeds just so she could go back to the underworld and get warm.
(Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, MD)

The snow up to my keister is one pretty fair indicator.
(David Bloyer, Comer, GA)

The way Summer dissed her last year, why should she?
(David Bloyer, Comer, GA)

Your Easter eggs were hidden by an Arctic hare.
(Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)