May 16th, 2008



NOTE FROM CARL:
Dude… don’t EVEN ask. Go order your own.
Hell, I’ll even GIVE you the buck twenty-nine.


The Top 7 Signs She
Intends to Finish Those Fries


7> She drew a line across the table and emits a low, guttural growl whenever your hand crosses it.

6> She’s leaning on her elbows over her fries, shovelling fistfuls of them into her gob while eyeballing your onion rings.

5> Her gargantuan shadow has started growling at you.

4> The drop cloth, #220 sandpaper, natural-bristle brush and can of Minwax she’s assembled around her plate.

3> She put the ketchup ON the fries instead of NEXT to the fries. Bitch.

2> She’s starved herself for the last five months to fit into the wedding dress, and this is the first day back from the honeymoon.

and the Number 1 Sign She Intends to Finish Those Fries…

1> I didn’t even know Lee *made* press-on retractable claws.




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Credits:

Selected from 22 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, MD — 1, 3, 7 (Hat trick!) (2nd #1!)
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 2, 6
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 4, 5
J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA — Topic
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny