September 29th, 2006
The Top 8 Signs Popeye
Was Cheating on Olive Oyl
Was Cheating on Olive Oyl
8> Passing by the harbor last night, she noticed his ship rocking wildly with little exclamation marks percolating over the roof.
7> Incessantly muttering about getting some “bottom paint” for his “dinghy,” followed by his trademarked tittering.
6> Last time Bluto captured Olive, Popeye threw a Crisco party.
5> An inexplicable rise in the number of squinty-eyed foundlings with freakishly large forearms available for adoption at the Sweethaven Orphanage.
4> It’s pretty unlikely he’s buying those double-D lace bras for her, isn’t it?
3> According to psychologists, the three deadly signs of “stepping out” are pumping iron, a sudden obsession with health food and a strange, hyena like chortle at inappropriate times. Ooooh — hat trick!
2> Bluto walks around with a goofy grin on his face, and Popeye never wants to sit down.
and the Number 1 Sign Popeye Was Cheating on Olive Oyl…
1> Her sister LynnSeed has sailor-size slap marks on her anorexic little buttcheeks.
.
Credits:
Selected from 39 submissions from 12 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 1, 6, 8 (Hat trick!/2nd #1!)
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 2
Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA — 3
Marcelo Rinesi, Buenos Aires, Argentina — 4
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 5, 7, Banner tag
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — Grand Overseer of Obtuse Funniness (GOOF)
RUNNERS UP list — Pipe Dreams
He comes home late every night and his corncob pipe smells funny.
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
He’s a sailor man. You do the math.
(Josh Sinnett, Bellingham, WA)
He’s started eating spinach only if it’s in a quiche, and now takes monthly fishing trips with Bluto.
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
Popeye’s suddenly using less Olive Oyl, more *Safflower* Oyl; if you get my drift.
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
There’s a telltale bit of black lace panty protruding from Popeye’s pocket — yet he gave up cross-dressing YEARS ago.
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
Wimpy gladly paid him Tuesday for a humbuggering today.
(Bill Muse, Seattle, WA)
Runners Up list name
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
He’s a sailor man. You do the math.
(Josh Sinnett, Bellingham, WA)
He’s started eating spinach only if it’s in a quiche, and now takes monthly fishing trips with Bluto.
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
Popeye’s suddenly using less Olive Oyl, more *Safflower* Oyl; if you get my drift.
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
There’s a telltale bit of black lace panty protruding from Popeye’s pocket — yet he gave up cross-dressing YEARS ago.
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
Wimpy gladly paid him Tuesday for a humbuggering today.
(Bill Muse, Seattle, WA)
Runners Up list name
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
