January 11th, 2008



NOTE FROM CARL:
You know, it’s been a while since I’ve seen
anything in the news about Iowa. Could it
be because… oh, sweet mother of… NOOOO!


The Top 9 Signs Ill-Meaning Ferrets
Have Clandestinely Conquered Iowa


9> The rotunda at the Capitol building is an inch deep in kitty litter.

8> New law requiring all stray humans to be microchipped and “fixed” prior to releasing them to their families.

7> The U of Iowa changed its mascot from the Hawkeyes to the Ferrets and formed the Big Damned Rodents Conference with the Wisconsin Badgers, Michigan Wolverines and Oregon State Beavers.

6> Suddenly, all restaurants are serving water in bottles suspended from the ceiling.

5> Have you *seen* Mike Huckabee’s teeth?

4> Once the candidates left, the press stayed… and everybody knows the press is made up almost entirely of ferrets.

3> Previous administration of foul-minded pronghorns seen leaving the state in droves.

2> Remodeling of the Governor’s office features a huge, long plastic tube.

and the Number 1 Sign Ill-Meaning Ferrets Have Clandestinely Conquered Iowa …

1> Prairie dogs forcibly removed to Nebraska ghettos in the middle of the night.




.

Credits:

Selected from 26 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Nathan Sherman, Bellevue, WA — 1, 8 (4th #1!)
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 2
Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, MD — 3, 6, 7 (Hat trick!)
David Bloyer, Athens, GA — 4, 7
Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 5
Lars Eisenberg, Menomonie, WI — 7
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 9
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — Banner tag
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny