December 14th, 2007
The Top 7 Signs an Exotic Animal
Meat Will NOT Taste Like Chicken
Meat Will NOT Taste Like Chicken
7> It’s supporting an extensive colony of a particularly minty strain of E. coli.
6> It’s called Squir-croc-ham.
5> It’s being served to you on Fear Factor.
4> A meerkat is neither a meer, nor a kat. And it sure as hell ain’t chicken.
3> The aroma of cherries and currant, as filtered through a sheep’s stomach.
2> At your neighbors’ barbecue, they seem to be exchanging knowing glances and suppressing giggles when they ask if your missing little yippy dog has turned up yet.
and the Number 1 Sign an Exotic Animal Meat Will NOT Taste Like Chicken…
1> It’s got an apple in its… um… no. Wow. *Anything* with a clitoris the size of an apple is going to be tougher than chicken!
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Credits:
Selected from 32 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 1 (4th #1!)
Brad Hamer, Austin, TX — 2, 7
Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 3
Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA — 4
Rabbi Crut, McComb, OH — 5
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 6
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny
RUNNERS UP list — Didn’t Cross The Road
Five hooves.
(Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA)
It has wheels.
(Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia)
It’s still barking.
(Jill Gallagher, Issaquah, WA)
Once Sarah Jessica Parker has stolen the snakeskin for her boots, the rest is pretty much tofu.
(Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA)
The quills.
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
There’s a reason you’ve never heard of Tarantula Pot Pie.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
Runners Up list name
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
(Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA)
It has wheels.
(Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia)
It’s still barking.
(Jill Gallagher, Issaquah, WA)
Once Sarah Jessica Parker has stolen the snakeskin for her boots, the rest is pretty much tofu.
(Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA)
The quills.
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
There’s a reason you’ve never heard of Tarantula Pot Pie.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
Runners Up list name
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
