August 29th, 2008



NOTE FROM CARL:
Happy Thank-Ceiling-Cat-It’s-the-Last-Friday-of-August Day!


The Top 8 Signs a
Holiday Is Completely Made Up


8> You’re hard pressed to find any ethnic group protesting against it.

7> You’re celebrating Freedom Day. You’re in Zimbabwe.

6> Hell, you didn’t even know there was a “Barista Day” until the miffed skank hocked a loogie in your latte.

5> Americans just aren’t polite enough to deserve a You’rewelcomesgiving.

4> This time the flaming pile of dog-doo on your doorstep comes with a lit sparkler.

3> “St. Topless Day” isn’t fooling anyone.

2> When you call the folks at Hallmark to order a gross of “Wastewater Plant Operator Appreciation Day” cards, they act like they haven’t heard of it before.

and the Number 1 Sign a Holiday Is Completely Made Up …

1> The holiday’s animal mascot is your mom.




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Credits:

Selected from 31 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 1, 3 (2nd #1!)
David Bloyer, Comer, GA — 2
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — 3
Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 4, 6
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 5
G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa — 7
Kevin Freels, Walnut Creek, CA — 8
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — Banner tag
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny