September 28th, 2007



NOTE FROM CARL:
A stray strand of rabbit fur here, a
stretched-out sleeve forearm there…
Hey… wait just one cotton pickin’
minute there, varmints!


The Top 9 Signs a Cartoon
Character Has Been Trying on Your Things


9> There’s duck saliva splattered all over your ties.

8> All your shirts are crumpled on the floor. Pants? Completely untouched.

7> That draft that’s been bothering you turns out to be a recently-drilled tail-hole.

6> Your shorts bear the unmistakable odor of skunk and French perfume.

5> The seat is all ripped out of your black jeans, and there’s a receipt in the pocket for one pair of Acme Rocket Skates.

4> Your extra-tall, extra-slim cashmere turtleneck now sports a spinach-crusted hickey.

3> Some of the stains in your shorts are now Technicolor.

2> Pink fur and a cufflink in one pocket, receipts from various gay bars in the other, evennnnn!

and the Number 1 Sign a Cartoon Character Has Been Trying on Your Things…

1> Whenever you go for a run in your Nikes, it starts out with some sort of drum solo while your legs whirl in place.




.

Credits:

Selected from 19 submissions from 6 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 1, 4, 7 (Hat trick!/10th #1!)
Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 2
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 3, 5, Banner tag
Stephen A Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO — 6, 9
Rabbi Crut, McComb, OH — 8
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny