April 9th, 2006
NOTE FROM CARL:
Welcome to the newest Little Fiver
in the fleet, Top5 WTF! We specialize
in obscure topics that just don’t
have a home anywhere else in the
TopFive housing development of humor…
or the minds of normal people. Monkeys!
Welcome to the newest Little Fiver
in the fleet, Top5 WTF! We specialize
in obscure topics that just don’t
have a home anywhere else in the
TopFive housing development of humor…
or the minds of normal people. Monkeys!
The Top 7 Reasons Why Not?
7> I’m sick of doing jigsaw puzzles consisting of all brown pieces.
6> You kiddin’ me? Don’t get me started.
5> It says “all terrain” — not “all terrain excluding those wet bits under the surf.”
4> Company policy.
3> Because no other rapper dares to sample Burl Ives.
2> Putz. What kinda question izzat? Whack ‘im, Rico.
and the Number 1 Reason Why Not?…
1> Because the last guy who did got Double Hungarian Turbo Herpes.
.
Credits:
Selected from 27 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 1, 3 (Woo-hoo! 1st #1!)
J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA — 2
Marcelo Rinesi, Buenos Aires, Argentina — 4
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 5
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 6
Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA — 7
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — Topic
Lars Eisenberg, Menomonie, WI — Banner Tag
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — Grand Overseer of Obscure Funniness (GOOF)
RUNNERS UP list — Why?
And let them get away with it? Never!
(Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL)
Because even with mustard and heaping amounts of sauerkraut, passers-by would probably be suspicious of a bratwurst you insist on holding at crotch level.
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
Because if I miss the bus one more time my mom is gonna give me a double helping of lima beans.
(Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA)
Because we couldn’t get the elves to smoke it either.
(J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA)
If you have to ask, you’ve obviously never stared down the throat of a tiger before.
(Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA)
Well for one thing, it’s profoundly unlikely to be WJWD.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
(Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL)
Because even with mustard and heaping amounts of sauerkraut, passers-by would probably be suspicious of a bratwurst you insist on holding at crotch level.
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
Because if I miss the bus one more time my mom is gonna give me a double helping of lima beans.
(Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA)
Because we couldn’t get the elves to smoke it either.
(J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA)
If you have to ask, you’ve obviously never stared down the throat of a tiger before.
(Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA)
Well for one thing, it’s profoundly unlikely to be WJWD.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
