March 30th, 2007



NOTE FROM CARL:
Moo!


The Top 8 Reasons the Aliens
Find Our Cows So Interesting


8> The easy accessibility of the probe portal.

7> Their deep space scanners apparently picked up the fabled moon jump.

6> Because even the toughest, stringiest, skankiest cow hands-down beats Arcturan squirrel jerky.

5> The Neptune Stuckey’s serves big tasty brownies, but only liquid methane to wash them down.

4> “Moo” is a homophone for a highly seductive word in Altairian.

3> Cows alone can unleash the potential of Jovian Rice Krispie-powered spacecraft.

2> On their atmosphere-stripped homeworld, Holstein camouflage makes their storm troopers damned near invisible.

and the Number 1 Reason the Aliens Find Our Cows So Interesting…

1> 17 years to get here with nothing to read in the bathroom but Andromedan Teat & Udder magazines.




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Credits:

Selected from 25 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA — 1, 3, 5 (Hat trick!) (4th #1!)
Nathan Sherman, Bellevue, WA — 2
Brad Hamer, Austin, TX — 4, 8
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 6, 8, Banner tag
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 7
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — Grand Overseer of Obtuse Funniness (GOOF)