August 24th, 2007
NOTE FROM CARL:
It’s August… still. Meh.
NEXT!
NEXT!
The Top 8 Reasons Rabbits
Really Suck As Rodeo Clowns
Really Suck As Rodeo Clowns
8> A bucking bull stomping on a *rabbit* clown elicits shame and horror from the audience, unlike the lighthearted glee derived from the gory evisceration of a human rodeo clown.
7> They look ridiculous in chaps.
6> Whatever they do in the rodeo ring, they always end up road kill, hence the suckage.
5> When they try to hide in the barrel their ears are still sticking out.
4> Bull riders keep getting accidentally shot in the ass by Elmer Fudd.
3> Wearing all that makeup and a fur coat just makes them look slutty.
2> Bulls actually prefer chasing something less “wascawwy.”
and the Number 1 Reason Rabbits Really Suck As Rodeo Clowns …
1> Every time you try to put the clown makeup on the bunny, some Mary Kay protester comes and whacks you in the back of the head.
.
Credits:
Selected from 31 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Chuck Salerno, Fullerton, CA — 1 (2nd #1!)
Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 2, 4
Brad Hamer, Austin, TX — 3, 5
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 4
Stephen A Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO — 6
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 7
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 8, Banner tag
Lars Eisenberg, Menomonie, WI — 8
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny
RUNNERS UP list — Ya’ long eared galoot!
Besides being good with money, they’re also natural comedians –
they practically run show business, you know. But not so good with
the physical schtick. Wait… did you say *rabbits*?
(Stephen A Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO)
Even spirit gum won’t hold a clown nose onto a hare lip that never stops twitching.
(Stephen A Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO)
Few of them have the sense of humor necessary to be convincing clowns.
(Stephen A Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO)
Not everything shaped like a big carrot makes for good eating.
(Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia)
Right when you need ‘em, they always head for the outhouse to clean the tobacco spit off their fluffy white fur.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
They don’t move too well in a cowboy boot.
(Chuck Salerno, Fullerton, CA)
Two words: Bunny Kebob.
(Alex Calkins, Richmond, IN)
Runners Up list name
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
(Stephen A Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO)
Even spirit gum won’t hold a clown nose onto a hare lip that never stops twitching.
(Stephen A Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO)
Few of them have the sense of humor necessary to be convincing clowns.
(Stephen A Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO)
Not everything shaped like a big carrot makes for good eating.
(Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia)
Right when you need ‘em, they always head for the outhouse to clean the tobacco spit off their fluffy white fur.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
They don’t move too well in a cowboy boot.
(Chuck Salerno, Fullerton, CA)
Two words: Bunny Kebob.
(Alex Calkins, Richmond, IN)
Runners Up list name
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
