September 17, 2010      Share

NOTE FROM THE GOOF:
Welcome to the second half of SHOWDOWN SEPTEMBER!
This week’s odd couple may bring back some
painful memories from one side or the other… or
on both sides for some of us contributors!
***WARNING!*** Contains chemistry geek humor.

The Top 7 Reasons Prison Is
Better Than Organic Chemistry I

7> Your azole doesn’t impress the chemists.

6> If you kill someone with an experiment in Organic Chemistry I,
they send you to prison. If you kill someone in a prison
experiment, hey! No need to pack.

5> Less derisive laughter when you accidentally screw up the name
of 2,4-dichloro-3-bromocyclohexan-1,3-diol.

4> The “instructors” are actually nicer, and have better breath.

3> You don’t get three squares in Organic Chemistry. Unless
you’re talking about the rest of your study group.

2> Suddenly realize you showed up for prison without studying? No
problem.

and the Number 1 Reason Prison Is Better Than Organic Chemistry I…
1> When a large “Highest Occupied Molecular Orbital” (“HOMO”)
performs a “backside attack” on your “Lowest Unoccupied
Molecular Orbital” (LUMO), by jamming its “electrons” in,
causing whatever was attached to your “frontside” to fall off
and your “chirality” to swing the other way, in prison you
can press charges. In Org Chem I, it’s euphemistically
referred to as an “Sn2 Reaction”, and it’s ENCOURAGED.


.

Credits:

Selected from 22 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Emily Fortner, Huntsville, AL — 1 (2nd #1!)
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 2
David Bloyer, Comer, GA — 3
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 4, Topic, Banner tag
Brad Hamer, Austin, TX — 5
Lars Eisenberg, Menomonie, WI — 6
Stephen A. Segall, Ajijic, Mexico — 7
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny

RUNNERS UP list — Benz-over

Ability to explain bond hybridization in benzene ring structure
just doesn’t buy you as much street cred with the homies.
     (Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)

Conceivable that skills learned in prison might someday be of
practical use.
     (Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)

Motivation to memorize nomenclature rules no match for motivation
to memorize who’s in which gang.
     (Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)

Prison smells better.
     (Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL)

When you’re a social outcast in *prison* it doesn’t bother you as
much.
     (Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)

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