June 22nd, 2007
NOTE FROM CARL:
It is officially Summer now in the
Northern Hemisphere. All that sweating
we’ve been doing in the past few weeks
means that our wimpy butts can’t even hack
Spring anymore. Well, aren’t we all just a
pretty prissy pack of precious pansies?
Northern Hemisphere. All that sweating
we’ve been doing in the past few weeks
means that our wimpy butts can’t even hack
Spring anymore. Well, aren’t we all just a
pretty prissy pack of precious pansies?
The Top 9 Reasons Justin Timberlake
Had to Bring the Sexy Back
Had to Bring the Sexy Back
9> Because “skanky” had already been taken by Britney.
8> Because Leo Sayer is preoccupied with his job as St. Paul’s fifth-ranked Microsoft Certified Technician.
7> I was done with it.
6> Sexy’s car was in the shop.
5> The warranty was about to expire.
4> Ms. O’Donnell didn’t seem to be using it.
3> Who did you want to do it? Friggin’ CREED?!
2> He found out she was jail bait.
and the Number 1 Reason Justin Timberlake Had to Bring the Sexy Back…
1> Massive letter-writing campaign on behalf of fans of the sexy.
.
Credits:
Selected from 29 submissions from 11 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 1 (Woo-hoo! 1st #1!)
Stephen A Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO — 2
Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 3, 8
Brad Hamer, Austin, TX — 4, 7
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — 5
Lars Eisenberg, Menomonie, WI — 6
Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA — 9
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny
RUNNERS UP list — N*Stynckers
Apparently because nobody thought to ask people like you and me.
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
Because it was already two weeks overdue and By-Law #8 of the Mouseketeer Code is “Never Break the Library’s Rules”.
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
It turned out to have a manufacturer’s defect, but fortunately he kept the receipt.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
The time was long overdue to break the stranglehold enjoyed by the unholy alliance of da Noise and da Funk.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
The very idea of his “goth hunchback” makeover was a miscalculation of career-threatening proportions.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
There doesn’t appear to be as much clamor for him to bring back the dumpy.
(Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)
We’d all rather have Justin Timberlake bring the Sexy Back, given the other option was Phyllis Diller.
(Rabbi Crut, McComb, OH)
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
Because it was already two weeks overdue and By-Law #8 of the Mouseketeer Code is “Never Break the Library’s Rules”.
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
It turned out to have a manufacturer’s defect, but fortunately he kept the receipt.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
The time was long overdue to break the stranglehold enjoyed by the unholy alliance of da Noise and da Funk.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
The very idea of his “goth hunchback” makeover was a miscalculation of career-threatening proportions.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
There doesn’t appear to be as much clamor for him to bring back the dumpy.
(Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)
We’d all rather have Justin Timberlake bring the Sexy Back, given the other option was Phyllis Diller.
(Rabbi Crut, McComb, OH)
