June 15th, 2007
NOTE FROM CARL:
Yeh, I didn’t buy the whole “Continental Drift”
thing either. Scientists think they’re so smart…
thing either. Scientists think they’re so smart…
The Top 8 *Real* Reasons Iceland and
the Philippines Aren’t Near Each Other
the Philippines Aren’t Near Each Other
8> Iceland was missing a whole bunch of shoes back in the 80s…
7> I dunno… some kinda gravity thing? Where do you keep the beer?
6> Icelandic lobsters may taste delicious, but they can’t speak Tagalog for shit.
5> The South Pacific just isn’t very Reykjaviky.
4> Well, God was skipping these really big rocks…
3> The Princess Cruise Lines 40-Day Reykjavik-to-Manila excursion would otherwise be full of a lot more figure-eights.
2> Iceland’s kinda shy. It might have dropped by for a neighborly visit if it had just been *one* Philippine, but…
and the Number 1 *Real* Reason Iceland and the Philippines Aren’t Near Each Other…
1> All of that land and ocean between them.
.
Credits:
Selected from 35 submissions from 11 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Stephen A Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO — 1 (2nd #1!)
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 2
Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 3
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 4
Brad Hamer, Austin, TX — 5, 6
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 7
Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA — 8
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny
RUNNERS UP list — Wreckjavik
Filipinos really, really hate music by Bjork.
(Rabbi Crut, McComb, OH)
(Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)
God would be tempted to blend Iceland and put it in a tropical drink.
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
Iceland decided it was worth a little frostbite to stay the hell out of everybody’s way in WWII.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
Iceland got the last juice box that really hot day at Summer Camp.
(Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA)
If Iceland were located down there by the equator, it would be named something stupid like “Greenland”
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
Madagascar doesn’t want to risk them finding out that he’s doubling up on them with each other.
(Stephen A Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO)
(Rabbi Crut, McComb, OH)
(Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)
God would be tempted to blend Iceland and put it in a tropical drink.
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
Iceland decided it was worth a little frostbite to stay the hell out of everybody’s way in WWII.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
Iceland got the last juice box that really hot day at Summer Camp.
(Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA)
If Iceland were located down there by the equator, it would be named something stupid like “Greenland”
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
Madagascar doesn’t want to risk them finding out that he’s doubling up on them with each other.
(Stephen A Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO)
