October 20th, 2006



NOTE FROM CARL:
In honor of the 34th anniversary of…
no… to commemorate his new album…
nuh-uh… his radio show… oh, toss it!
I just like Bob Dylan, OK?


The Top 7 Questions Whose Respective
Answers We’re Quite Sure
Are Not Blowin’ in the Wind


7> Whose ear is that in the potato salad?

6> What the hell is that between your teeth?

5> Who let the dogs out?

4> Why is it illegal to hunt clowns for sport?

3> What kind of glue should a bald man employ, to not chase his rug down the street?

2> How many habaneros can a drunken idiot throw down his gullet to impress his football buddies before landing in traction with a med-school-case-study-horrific distended rectum?

and the Number 1 Question Whose Respective Answer We’re Quite Sure Is *Not* Blowin’ in the Wind …

1> How many roads could a woodchuck walk down if a woodchuck could walk down a road before you call him a woodchuck?




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Credits:

Selected from 27 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — 1, 6 (2nd #1!)
Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 2
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 3
Brad Hamer, Austin, TX — 4, 7
Josh Sinnett, Bellingham, WA — 5
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — Banner tag
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — Grand Overseer of Obtuse Goofiness



RUNNERS UP list — Drug Dylan’

Did Grandma get to the storm shelter in time?
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)

Does this Speedo make my package look big?
(Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)

How could it be Seals & Crofts made so much from one overplayed little song?
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)

So *who*, exactly, decided Pauly Shore should be in movies?
(Josh Sinnett, Bellingham, WA)

Why do people invest their money with a guy whose title is “broker”?
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)

Why the hell is a snake’s penis forked?
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)