June 20th, 2008
NOTE FROM CARL:
It’s the middle of June, which means it’s
in the thick of the Christmas season in
the Southern Hemisphere… or something…
no? Well, at least the list is funny.
in the thick of the Christmas season in
the Southern Hemisphere… or something…
no? Well, at least the list is funny.
The Top 8 Phrases We Don’t Expect
to Hear Sung by Christmas Carolers
to Hear Sung by Christmas Carolers
8> “And don’t forget to buy the crap at Santa Claus Dot Com.”
7> “Don we now our gay apparel…
Try on these spangled bike shorts.”
6> “Hark! the herald angels have pulled over so Gabriel can puke in the culvert.”
5> “I can’t get no [pa rum pa pum pum] girlie action.”
4> “The cattle are toking.”
3> “Lick ye all the rectal juices, fa la la la la la la la la!”
2> “Pop! goes the Savior.”
and the Number 1 Phrase We Don’t Expect to Hear Sung by Christmas Carolers …
1> “Hey little virgin, what have you done?
Hey little virgin, motherhood’s begun
It’s a… nice day for a… White Christmas!”
.
Credits:
Selected from 30 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 1, 2 (16th #1!)
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 3, 5
Brad Hamer, Austin, TX — 4, Topic
J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA — 6, 7
David Bloyer, Comer, GA — 8
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny
RUNNERS UP list — Daddy Sang Base
“Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Baby buggies, piles of Huggies
Bought at the Grand Bazaar”
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
“Have yourself a merry little stripper.”
(Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA)
“It’s beginning to smell a lot like nondenominational wintertime festival of embarassingly specific dogmatic origins!”
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
“Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, this is a dumb tradition.”
(Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, MD)
“There’s a Spanish train that runs between…”
(Gideon Griebenow, Johannesburg, S Africa)
“What child is this?
Ask Roman Polanski.”
(J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA)
Runners Up list name
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
Baby buggies, piles of Huggies
Bought at the Grand Bazaar”
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
“Have yourself a merry little stripper.”
(Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA)
“It’s beginning to smell a lot like nondenominational wintertime festival of embarassingly specific dogmatic origins!”
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
“Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, this is a dumb tradition.”
(Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, MD)
“There’s a Spanish train that runs between…”
(Gideon Griebenow, Johannesburg, S Africa)
“What child is this?
Ask Roman Polanski.”
(J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA)
Runners Up list name
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
