July 13th, 2007



NOTE FROM CARL:
Welcome Back… ummm… Me! Thanks for hanging
with us through our little repeat issue. New stuff
comin’ atcha - fresh from the morning commute!


The Top 7 Other Reasons
Not to Use Turn Signals


7> Keeps the guy behind you on his toes, or occasionally on his side, bleeding profusely.

6> Because I’m the kind of twisted, antisocial butt-cheese who gets off on annoying the crap out of total strangers. You got a problem with that, wanker?

5> With a super-size Slurpee in one hand and a Double Whopper dripping ketchup in the other, trying to operate your turn signal could be downright dangerous.

4> You don’t need to be giving that officer you flipped off any more help tracking you back to your apartment.

3> Because I snapped off the turn lever to have something to throw at that %$#@^&! pendejo who cut *me* off last week!

2> Out of blinker fluid.

and the Number 1 Other Reason Not To Use Turn Signals…

1> There’s NO reason not to, when you can alleviate the boredom of traffic by leading a round of “Drive Drive Revolution.”




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Credits:

Selected from 28 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 1, 5, 7 (Hat trick!) (8th #1!)
Rabbi Crut, McComb, OH — 2
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 3, 6
Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 4
Chuck Salerno, Schaumberg, IL — 5
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny