April 25th, 2008
NOTE FROM CARL:
You know when you’re on the phone at the office
calling to set up a doctor’s appointment and the
nurse asks “And why do you need to see the doctor
today?” Yep, this list is for you, Pally!
calling to set up a doctor’s appointment and the
nurse asks “And why do you need to see the doctor
today?” Yep, this list is for you, Pally!
The Top 9 More Socially
Polite Phrases for Constipation
Polite Phrases for Constipation
9> The Browns are stuck in the locker room.
8> A production strike at the Hershey factory.
7> Got a full magazine, but the rifle’s jammed.
6> Your #2 pitcher can’t get anyone out.
5> I’m off to Mexico to drink water from the hose!
4> Bricked up and the mortar is set.
3> Catching up on the last year of Playboys.
2> The tarbaby is entering his fourth trimester.
and the Number 1 More Socially Polite Phrase for Constipation…
1> A multi-meal pileup has blocked the only road out of town.
.
Credits:
Selected from 37 submissions from 11 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Brad Osberg, Calgary, AB — 1, 5 (3rd #1!)
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 2, 7, 8 (Hat trick!), Banner tag
Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA — 3
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — 4
Lars Eisenberg, Menomonie, WI — 6, 9
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny
RUNNERS UP list — Def Potty Jam
Hardening of the farteries
(Nathan Sherman, Bellevue, WA)
Let’s just say those five extra pounds aren’t water weight.
(Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA)
Maximizing your withholdings.
(Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)
The bowel-hog keeps seeing his shadow.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
The old dirt road is closed to through traffic.
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
You are “temporarily indisposed” and “awaiting further developments” due to “big turds stuck in your colon.”
(Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)
You’ve developed the antidote to the “Taco Bell Problem.”
(Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)
Runners Up list name
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
(Nathan Sherman, Bellevue, WA)
Let’s just say those five extra pounds aren’t water weight.
(Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA)
Maximizing your withholdings.
(Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)
The bowel-hog keeps seeing his shadow.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
The old dirt road is closed to through traffic.
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
You are “temporarily indisposed” and “awaiting further developments” due to “big turds stuck in your colon.”
(Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)
You’ve developed the antidote to the “Taco Bell Problem.”
(Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)
Runners Up list name
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
