May 5th, 2006



NOTE FROM CARL:
The word “cool” is so overused, we here
at TopFive WTF decided to delineate the
various strata of coolness, thus breathing a
little life back into the tired term.


The Top 7 How Cool Is That?


7> Cooler than a tuba quartet rendition of “Feelings”

6> Cooler than Hillary answering the doorbell at 3 AM

5> Cool as a Fonzicle

4> Cool as a “True Love Waits” prom queen

3> I’m talkin’ “monkeys with guns” cool.

2> Cool as a penguin’s ass on a luge run

and the Number 1 How Cool Is That?…

1> Cool as a North Pole pimp




.

Credits:

Selected from 32 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Chris White, Studio City, CA — 1, 5 (Woo-hoo! 1st #1!)
Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA — 2
Lars Eisenberg, Menomonie, WI — 2
J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA — 2, 4
Brad Osberg, Calgary, AB — 3
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 6, 7, Banner tag
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — Grand Overseer of Obtuse Funniness



RUNNERS UP list — Not So Hot

Cool as a bowl of Gwyneth’s children Apple, Mango and little Kiwi
(Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA)

Cool as Diddy skatin’ another firearms charge
(Mark Weiss, Minneapolis, MN)

Cool as the body of an Eskimo mob boss a week after a sled-by blubbering
(J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA)

Cooler than a Salt Lake City orgy
(Chris White, Studio City, CA)

Cooler than the reception I got at the staff meeting when suggesting “No Panties Thursdays”
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)

I’m talkin’ “Jerry Falwell on freakin’ fire” cool.
(Brad Osberg, Calgary, AB)