June 9th, 2006
NOTE FROM CARL:
This is the second in the occasional
“Top5 WTF Cares” series. When you find
yourself in a foreign country and “?Donde
esta la biblioteca?” isn’t cutting it, try
looking these charms up in your phrasebook.
“Top5 WTF Cares” series. When you find
yourself in a foreign country and “?Donde
esta la biblioteca?” isn’t cutting it, try
looking these charms up in your phrasebook.
The Top 7 Handy Phrases to
Learn in a Foreign Language
Learn in a Foreign Language
7> “Well, in MY country, puking on someone’s shoes is a gesture of respect.”
6> “Death to America! So, my brothers, how do you like my disguise?”
5> “Please remove your hairy hand from my breast.”
4> “Did this ‘chicken’ have four legs?”
3> “You’re out of toilet paper and the water fountain tastes funny.”
2> “Where might I purchase a small Canadian flag like the ones all the other American tourists here are wearing on their backpacks?”
and the Number 1 Handy Phrase to Learn in a Foreign Language…
1> “The orifice to which I am pointing is releasing a burning fluid.”
.
Credits:
Selected from 30 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 1, 4 (iooy-ooM 1st #1!)
Brad Osberg, Calgary, AB — 2, 7
Lars Eisenberg, Menomonie, WI — 3
Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA — 5
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 6, Banner tag
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — Grand Overseer of Obtuse Funniness (GOOF)
RUNNERS UP list — Esta Es La Casa De Mierda!
“Funny, she doesn’t *look* like your sister.”
(J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA)
“No, my name is not ‘Check Photo ID.’”
(Nathan Sherman, Bellevue, WA)
“Please don’t take my Jujubes — in America, they are as gold!”
(J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA)
“The dog ate my passport.”
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
“When was the last time you washed these sheets?”
(Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA)
“You have convinced me, sir! Now, if you would be so kind as to remove your boot from my throat and help me up.”
(Brad Osberg, Calgary, AB)
(J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA)
“No, my name is not ‘Check Photo ID.’”
(Nathan Sherman, Bellevue, WA)
“Please don’t take my Jujubes — in America, they are as gold!”
(J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA)
“The dog ate my passport.”
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
“When was the last time you washed these sheets?”
(Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA)
“You have convinced me, sir! Now, if you would be so kind as to remove your boot from my throat and help me up.”
(Brad Osberg, Calgary, AB)
