December 29th, 2006
NOTE FROM CARL:
We’re off to Winter Hiatus…
to return on January 19, 2007.
But right now, our warehouse is
full of unfinished topics, the
manager is out of town
AND WE’VE GONE CRAZY!
to return on January 19, 2007.
But right now, our warehouse is
full of unfinished topics, the
manager is out of town
AND WE’VE GONE CRAZY!
The Top 8 Gold-Star Bargains in
the WTF 2006 Year-End Clearance Sale
the WTF 2006 Year-End Clearance Sale
8> Garlic Chickaccino.
7> If the Nativity had taken place in a disco, Jesus probably would have looked even *more* like Barry Gibb.
6> In a pinch, red-shelled pistachio trees can substitute for the cherry trees elephants like to jump out of.
5> Come now, fair damsel,
Reveal thine ample bootye
And shake it anon.
4> Your habit says “nativity,” but your luscious booty screams “disco!”
3> Shuh-Mohn: (Aramaic) “Hushuh” (don’t tell) + “Mohyun” (your parents).
2> The “Timothy Leary”: Double espresso, anchovy, mushroom, mushroom, mushroom, mushroom, mushroom, Hershey bar.
and the Number 1 Gold-Star Bargain in the WTF 2006 Year-End Clearance Sale…
1> Sooth, be this thy turf?
Mac Daddy make you jump, jump
Who ist thy liege now?
.
Credits:
Selected from 78 submissions from 13 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA — 1, 5 (3rd #1!)
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 2
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 3, 7
Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 4, 8
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — 6, Banner tag
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — Grand Overseer of Obtuse Funniness (GOOF)
RUNNERS UP list — Miss-elaneous
Def bitch, I ask thee:
If thine arse be’st so damn’d phat
Where ist my money?
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
Feed pistachios to guests at reception.
Retain shells to throw at bride and groom instead of rice.
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
Finely ground, and added to flamingo-chow, red pistachio shells help the birds maintain their characteristic hue.
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
Half decaf and half de calf.
(Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA)
Hot rapper Master Piss-tash covers his teeth with them.
(Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA)
Mocharoni.
(Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA)
Thanks to ‘Lil Drummer Dude makin’ the scene at his nativity, Jesus rules today as the undisputed King of Disco — and the baddest chick-magnet EVER.
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
The “Yoko Ono”: extra cheese, peace, yellow, desire, force field, love, marshmallow, scissors. Then, just *say* “coffee.”
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
If thine arse be’st so damn’d phat
Where ist my money?
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
Feed pistachios to guests at reception.
Retain shells to throw at bride and groom instead of rice.
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
Finely ground, and added to flamingo-chow, red pistachio shells help the birds maintain their characteristic hue.
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
Half decaf and half de calf.
(Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA)
Hot rapper Master Piss-tash covers his teeth with them.
(Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA)
Mocharoni.
(Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA)
Thanks to ‘Lil Drummer Dude makin’ the scene at his nativity, Jesus rules today as the undisputed King of Disco — and the baddest chick-magnet EVER.
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
The “Yoko Ono”: extra cheese, peace, yellow, desire, force field, love, marshmallow, scissors. Then, just *say* “coffee.”
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
