November 25th, 2007
NOTE FROM CARL:
Over the last five years or so, it seems like
there has been a new theory about what killed
the dinosaurs popping up every other month.
They’ve *got* to be making some of it up! Well,
two (or twenty-two) can play at that game…
there has been a new theory about what killed
the dinosaurs popping up every other month.
They’ve *got* to be making some of it up! Well,
two (or twenty-two) can play at that game…
The Top 8 Events That Really, Truly,
Seriously Actually Killed the Dinosaurs
Seriously Actually Killed the Dinosaurs
8> Toxic parasites ingested by eating lawyers perched on toilets.
7> Dined with OJ’s ex-wife.
6> As has been documented by numerous short films, they suffered terrible exploitation at the hands of the greedy profiteers from the town of Bedrock.
5> Taunted female dinos while they were PMS’ing.
4> Nothing killed them. They just evolved a little to fit in better with the environment. They are alive and well wearing grey suits, red ties and working for IBM.
3> Have you ever heard of a romantic dinosaur? Didn’t think so. So don’t be surprised that they weren’t gettin’ any.
2> Interspecies softball league trash-talking that got out of hand.
and the Number 1 Event That Really, Truly, Seriously Actually Killed the Dinosaurs…
1> Gangsta Raptors.
.
Credits:
Selected from 32 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 1, 8 (11th #1!)
Brad Hamer, Austin, TX — 2, 6
Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA — 3
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 4
Jill Gallagher, Issaquah, WA — 5, 7
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — Banner tag
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny
RUNNERS UP list — Lounge Lizards
247,000 BC: Kroc, founder of the first McDinos, unwittingly
initiates the extinction by offering to “saurosize” the
Quarternary Pounder.
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
After barely surviving the three phases of the Triassic, that fourth assic was just too much.
(Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)
Caught disco fever.
(Jill Gallagher, Issaquah, WA)
Lone assassin Lee Harvey Oswald. Case closed.
(Stephen A Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO)
O.J. Flintstone on a white Broncosaurus.
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
The public just got sick and tired of “classic rock”.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
Runners Up list name
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
After barely surviving the three phases of the Triassic, that fourth assic was just too much.
(Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)
Caught disco fever.
(Jill Gallagher, Issaquah, WA)
Lone assassin Lee Harvey Oswald. Case closed.
(Stephen A Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO)
O.J. Flintstone on a white Broncosaurus.
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
The public just got sick and tired of “classic rock”.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
Runners Up list name
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
