February 15th, 2008
NOTE FROM CARL:
We’re halfway through February… how’re
those New Year’s Resolutions working out?
those New Year’s Resolutions working out?
The Top 8 Endeavors at
Which We Enjoy Failing
Which We Enjoy Failing
8> Living up to our parents’ expectations.
7> Vows of celibacy.
6> Human Sexuality 101 — retake, baby, retake!
5> Adequately training my replacement at work.
4> Disproving our own immortality.
3> Failing.
2> Setting the world record for simultaneous infections.
and the Number 1 Endeavor at Which We Enjoy Failing …
1> Controlling the bladder muscles long enough to climb out, dry off, and find the public restroom.
.
Credits:
Selected from 28 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 1, 5, 7 (Hat trick!)
(13th #1!)
Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX — 2, 4, 6 (Hat trick!)
Gideon Griebenow, Johannesburg, S Africa — 3
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 8
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny
RUNNERS UP list — “…Failings! Whoa-oa-oa, Failings!”
AIDS Tests.
(David Bloyer, Comer, GA)
Averting our eyes from the shameful exhibitionism of scantily-clad bimbos.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
Confirming the doctor’s expectations that you have two months, tops.
(Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA)
Getting off the barstool to attack the huge biker groping your girlfriend.
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
Matching my DNA with that of the perp.
(David Bloyer, Comer, GA)
Understanding the subtle humor and social commentary of lolcats.
(Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX)
Runners Up list name
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
(David Bloyer, Comer, GA)
Averting our eyes from the shameful exhibitionism of scantily-clad bimbos.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
Confirming the doctor’s expectations that you have two months, tops.
(Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA)
Getting off the barstool to attack the huge biker groping your girlfriend.
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
Matching my DNA with that of the perp.
(David Bloyer, Comer, GA)
Understanding the subtle humor and social commentary of lolcats.
(Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX)
Runners Up list name
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
