June 23rd, 2006
NOTE FROM CARL:
Heh heh… squirrels are funny!
The Top 8 Differences If
All Policepeople Were Squirrels
All Policepeople Were Squirrels
8> Lots of dogs die in custody “resisting arrest.”
7> Squirrels in my yard mysteriously begin having handcuff sex.
6> Perps are laughing too hard at the high, squeaky voices to hear their Miranda rights the first time.
5> Way more chatter on the police scanner.
4> Nobody messes with the Moose Mob. The Moose Mob has *connections*.
3> Robocop could run on two AAAs.
2> Less nut-busting, more nut-confiscating.
and the Number 1 Difference If All Policepeople Were Squirrels…
1> “My name is Friday. I carry acorns in my cheeks.”
.
Credits:
Selected from 31 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA — 1, 6, 7 (Hat trick!)
(Woo-hoo! 1st #1)
Marcelo Rinesi, Buenos Aires, Argentina — 2, 3, 4, 8 (Hat trick!)
Nathan Sherman, Bellevue, WA — 4
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 5
Brad Osberg, Calgary, AB — Banner tag
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — Grand Overseer of
Obtuse Funniness (GOOF)
RUNNERS UP list — Remain Silent
“‘Are you the fuzz?’ Real original, Chestnut.”
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
(Lars Eisenberg, Menomonie, WI)
Badgers? They don’t need no steenking badgers!
(J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA)
Detectives can sniff out buried loot through 18 inches of snow.
(Nathan Sherman, Bellevue, WA)
Frisking always concentrated on your nuts.
(Bill Muse, Seattle, WA)
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
Have their paws full with all the crime in the five burrows.
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
Resisting arrest, the perp manages to steal your sidearm. But no worries — you subdue him with your cheek-pouch backups!
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
You’ve gotta go strictly off the rack: Tailored uniforms and bushy tails don’t mix.
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
(Lars Eisenberg, Menomonie, WI)
Badgers? They don’t need no steenking badgers!
(J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA)
Detectives can sniff out buried loot through 18 inches of snow.
(Nathan Sherman, Bellevue, WA)
Frisking always concentrated on your nuts.
(Bill Muse, Seattle, WA)
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
Have their paws full with all the crime in the five burrows.
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
Resisting arrest, the perp manages to steal your sidearm. But no worries — you subdue him with your cheek-pouch backups!
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
You’ve gotta go strictly off the rack: Tailored uniforms and bushy tails don’t mix.
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
