February 8th, 2008
NOTE FROM CARL:
Favorite color? Do you like kittens? Movie or
a concert? What kind of crap questions are
those when you’re trying to hook up online?
Strap THESE queries on for size, Mathilda!
a concert? What kind of crap questions are
those when you’re trying to hook up online?
Strap THESE queries on for size, Mathilda!
The Top 9 Dating Compatibility
Questions Written By Malicious Absurdist Humorists
Questions Written By Malicious Absurdist Humorists
9> (True or False) It’s not the idea of consuming human flesh I find disturbing, it’s more of a flavor and textural issue for me.
8> _____ is the best quality to have in an imaginary friend.
7> (True or False) A “roofie” is a shingle enthusiast.
6> How do you feel about having sex in front of live alpacas?
5> Which part of Thanksgiving dinner encapsulates your personality most accurately? (Note: You can’t be giblet gravy… *I’M* the giblet gravy, Bitch!)
4> “No” means: (a) yes; (b) maybe; (c) another round, barkeep!
3> My bologna has a first name; it’s _________.
2> What part of your body would you be willing to trade for a lifetime supply of green highlighter pens?
and the Number 1 Dating Compatibility Question Written By Malicious Absurdist Humorists …
1> If your mother busts in on us in the middle of some hot action, will you: (a) scream and cover up? (b) invite her to join us? (c) remind her to use red-eye flash? (d) thank her for the hot butterscotch sauce and close the door?
.
Credits:
Selected from 32 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX — 1, 4 (Woo-hoo! 1st #1!)
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 2, 8
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 3, 7
Lars Eisenberg, Menomonie, WI — 5, 9
Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, MD — 6
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny
