February 9th, 2007



NOTE FROM CARL:
Wow… does Rex Grossman ever suck!


The Top 7 Answers to
“Did You See Where I Left My Keys?”


7> They’re in the evidence locker, numbnuts… Man! You *were* ripped last night, weren’t you?

6> Hey, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, Bud.

5> Mffft Mmffft Mfffmmmm Mtt *Translation* On the end table by the front door - now unlock these handcuffs!

4> They’re in the freezer — which also explains the melted fudgesicle in your purse.

3> They’re probably in your pants — wherever those are.

2> I’m afraid they didn’t survive the experiment – and your kite got kinda hosed, too.

and the Number 1 Answer to “Did You See Where I Left My Keys?”…

1> You locked them in the locksmith truck after your last emergency call.




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Credits:

Selected from 26 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 1, 4 (5th #1!)
Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 2, 3, 7 (Hat trick!), Banner tag
Rabbi Crut, McComb, OH — 5
Nathan Sherman, Bellevue, WA — 6
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — Grand Overseer of Obtuse Funniness (GO



RUNNERS UP list — Tur Keys

Check Paris Hilton’s hotel room. LOTS of keys get left there.
(Chris White, Studio City, CA)

I saw them on the altar, just before they cut off the chicken’s head.
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

I’d buried them in that barrel of fish over there, but now I suppose they’re lodged in that big bear’s colon. My bad.
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)

No. Why?
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

Same hook you always do, but the ferret needed your car.
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)


Runners Up list name
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)