March 16, 2012
lists, will be taking an extended hiatus
for a few months to regroup and find new ways
of getting our weekly topical humor to you.
Today will be our last list for a while.
I earnestly and wholeheartedly thank
all of you subscribers to this little
experiment in WTFery. All this effort has
always* been for you – I just hope it has
been as fun for you to read as it was for
me to put together these six-odd years.
*Well, the first few weeks were pretty
much for me. I was showing off a bit.
But after that – ALL YOU, baby!
9> You divided whatitwas by zero.
8> Because you saw it in a James Cameron movie.
7> It may say Shampoo on the bottle, but trust me, it’s real poo.
6> If Donald Trump’s companies can file for bankruptcy four times
and he is still considered a business genius, then surely it
can not be what it is.
5> The MRI showed no inflammation of the what.
4> Its physical manifestation is merely a feeble shadow of its
true, perfect self. Socrates, who never uttered the words “it
is what it is,” nailed this shit.
3> It was captured in battle while it was young and was raised as
one of them.
2> It is: “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.”
What it is: Not butter. But how could I ever believe that?
there!”
Selected from 35 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Emily Fortner, Huntsville, AL — 1, 9 (6th #1!)
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 2, 4
Caladan Ravnos, Malaga, NJ — 3
Brad Hamer, Austin, TX — 5
Roy Skogstrom, Pepeekeo, HI — 6
David Bloyer, Comer, GA — 7, 8
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — GrandObserver,ObtuseFunny
(David Bloyer, Comer, GA)
If you don’t have a degree in Quantum Physics, then you’ll never
be able to follow the explanation and you’ll just have to trust
me on this.
(Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX)
It was, but you just missed it.
(Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL)
it’s really more of an -osis than an -itis.
(Emily Fortner, Huntsville, AL)
Listen up, folks. President Clinton has already explained “it”.
(Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia)
Well, it was. But Snooki ate it.
(Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA)
What “it is” is, is “it’s.” But what is “It is what it’s”?
“It’s” isn’t “it is,” is it?
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
“What-itis” is Dr. House’s first diagnosis, in the first 10
minutes.
(Emily Fortner, Huntsville, AL)