NOTE FROM MARK:

Thanks to the folks in Marketing, we are
glad to welcome some new unpaid interns
to our ranks today. It is important
though that these folks know their place.

The Top 7 Ways to
Torment the Interns

7> Verify the boss is not drinking “pee” coffee.

6> Just like in Washington: stuff them under the desk.

5> Get published, do a shot.

4> Same as regular employees: give them a project, a deadline and no resources or authority.

3> Inform them late Friday about a mandatory Saturday morning meeting. Forget to inform them that the meeting has been canceled.

2> All interns forced to sit in corner at folding card table at the company party.

and the Number 1 Way to Torment the Interns…

1> Make them submit a topic for which they must have a dozen good entries; make them pick just one to print.

.

Credits:

Selected from 32 submissions from 13 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Doug Frank, Crosby, TX — 1, 3 (1st # 1)
Glenn Anthony, San Jose, CA — 2
Frank Boneno, Baton Rouge, LA — 3
David J Ludwig, San Diego, CA — 4
Bruce Kane, Charlotte, NC — 5
Steven Lunetta, Tucson, AZ — 6
John Shurniak, Limerick, SK — 7
Mark Sweatt, Marietta, GA — President & CEO

RUNNERS UP list — You new ’round hyeah, aintcha, boy?

All interns must wear official intern uniform: a stained blue dress from the Gap.
(Glenn Anthony, San Jose, CA)

Arrange a department meet-the-interns lunch, interns treat.
(David J Ludwig, San Diego, CA)

Give them a 30-second description of what they need to know, then go out on vacation for a month.
(Victor Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)

Have them make copies of blank pieces of paper so you can have more paper at your desk.
(Frank Boneno, Baton Rouge, LA)

Make them eat cafeteria food for a week.
(Victor Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)

Shave your boss.
(Glenn Anthony, San Jose, CA)

Tell them about the company pool on the roof.
(Frank Boneno, Baton Rouge, LA)

Tell them the more better they perform, the more they will be paid.
(Victor Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)


Runners Up list name
(Doug Frank, Crosby, TX)