The Top 8 Ways to Tell Your
Co-Worker She Needs to Quit Smoking

8> Place a large brass spittoon in her cube, label it “Toxic Lung Cookies.”

7> Change her screen saver from scrolling sunsets to a wheezing Jack Klugman.

6> 3 words: Napalm Filled Zippo.

5> “Are you losing weight, or is that an early sign of cancer?”

4> Point out that a 21-year old shouldn’t look like Marge Schott. *Especially* a guy.

3> Quietly observe that she starts to wheeze when she raises her eyebrows.

2> “As long as you’re coughing up chunks of lung, want to chair the Halloween decoration committee?”

and the Number 1 Way to Tell Your Co-Worker She Needs to Quit
Smoking…

1> Start demanding that all of the memos she sends out be accompanied by a Surgeon General’s Warning.

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Credits:

Selected from 42 submissions from 10 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Greg Preece, Toronto, Ontario — 1, 7 (Employee of the week!)
Richard W. Lipp, Lenexa, KS — 2, 6
Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 3, 4
William Wickart, Hillsboro, OR — 5
Lisa Comeau, Toronto, Ontario — 6
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 8
Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — Topic
Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI — Prez & CEO, RU list name