March 8th, 2006



The Top 7 Ways to
Commit Suicide at Work


7> Graze the break room refrigerator that hasn’t been cleaned out since the 1990s.

6> Snort copier toner.

5> Stop driving and get out to take a quick leak (pilots and subway train conductors only).

4> Play Russian roulette with the nail gun.

3> Just show up day after day for 40 years.

2> Lock yourself in the garage with the company car. That way, your spouse can receive death benefits *and* gas reimbursement.

and the Number 1 Way to Commit Suicide at Work…

1> Death of a Thousand Punctures: a stapler and 500 staples.




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Credits:

Selected from 24 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa — 1 (Employee of the week!)
Randy Travis, Wichita Falls, TX — 1 (Employee of the week!)
Rabbi Crut, McComb, OH — 2, 3
Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 3, 6
Mark Sweatt, Marietta, GA — 3
Curtis Stoddard, Milwaukie, OR — 3
Jenn McNanna, Grosse Pointe, MI — 4, 7
William Wickart, Hillsboro, OR — 5
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — Topic
K.W. Wyckham, Youngstown, OH — Banner Tag
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — President & CEO