The Top 9 Ways to
Avoid Working Weekends

9> Never show up on Fridays.

8> “I’ve just been notified that my guard unit is being activated for *another* two-day rotation.”

7> Those “on call” pagers make excellent fishing sinkers.

6> Tell the boss you have a “family thing” to attend — just don’t mention it’s “The Osbournes” marathon on MTV.

5> Convince your boss that your religion requires you to spend the weekend drunk in front of the TV.

4> Pay the boss’s wife to go out of town so he can see his mistress.

3> “No, that was my mother’s cousin’s wife’s uncle’s *grandmother* who died. I need to go to the funeral of….”

2> Well, my complete lack of a job pretty much guarantees it!

and the Number 1 Way to Avoid Working Weekends…

1> Get elected President.

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Credits:

Selected from 16 submissions from 6 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Peter Heltzer, Buffalo Grove, IL — 1, 4, Topic
(Employee of the week!)
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 2
Richard W. Lipp, Lenexa, KS — 3, 5, 8 (Hat trick!)
Brad Wilkerson, El Sobrante, CA — 5, 9
Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO — 6
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 7
K.W. Wyckham, Youngstown, OH — Banner Tag
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — President & CEO