April 26th, 2006



MEMO FROM THE PREZ:
If I were to suddenly pass,
I’d want to take all of you with me.


The Top 8 Things to Do When Your
Boss Dies Suddenly During the Day


8> Take your lips off his ass before people really start to talk.

7> Call his extremely fetching wife. After all, he did say you could screw her “over his dead body.”

6> Place pen in his hand before rigor mortis sets in to sign additional paid vacation requests.

5> Rinse out his coffee mug and hope the cops don’t ask for an alibi.

4> If the Lord of Darkness were to claim his loyal minion, it would certainly be at 4:55 p.m.

3> Pause your game before joining the crowd.

2> Jab a stake through his heart — just to make sure.

and the Number 1 Thing to Do When Your Boss Dies Suddenly During the Day…

1> Get that lamp out of the trash can, because you’ve still got two more wishes coming.




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Credits:

Selected from 30 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Richard W. Lipp, Lenexa, KS — 1 (Employee of the week!)
Randy Travis, Wichita Falls, TX — 2
G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa — 3
Bruce Kane, St. Louis, MO — 4, 5
Rabbi Crut, McComb, OH — 6
Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA — 7
John Shurniak, Limerick, SK — 8
William Wickart, Hillsboro, OR — Topic
K.W. Wyckham, Youngstown, OH — Banner Tag
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — President & CEO