The Top 5 New Year’s
Resolutions for the Unemployed

5> Time to change the newspaper lining on my futon.

4> No more drinking before “Regis and Kelly.”

3> Maybe put on clothing other than underwear once or twice a week.

2> Demonstrate business skills by subletting my living space, provided Mom doesn’t object to another loser in her basement.

and the Number 1 New Year’s Resolution for the Unemployed…

1> To move into a bigger cardboard box.

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Credits:

Selected from 9 submissions from 4 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 1, 2 (Employee of the week!)
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 3
K.W. Wyckham, Youngstown, OH — 4, 5, Topic, Banner Tag
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — President & CEO