Top5 Work

Management Reasons for Not Giving Raises in 2008

Administrator — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 08:33:17 +0000

Experts in “change” management.

The Top 7 Management Reasons for Not Giving Raises in 2008

7> “It is part of our LEAN initiative: less money to live on, less food to eat, the leaner you get.”

6> “It’s not in the quarterly fiscal budget per the addendum to paragraph C in the Red handbook based off footnote G in the last [...]

Benefits of Working for the Rodeo

Administrator — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 10:55:46 +0000

Being a handler is safer than being a rider, but you smell a lot more animal ass.

The Top 6 Benefits of Working for the Rodeo

6> Unlike my wife, the fans applaud 8 seconds.

5> Travel the country, meet interesting people all over America: nurses, doctors, physical therapists.

4> Really, really hard for the IRS to serve you with audit paperwork, [...]

Disadvantages of Working From Home

Administrator — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 07:35:28 +0000

I watch “The Office” at my house, in my office, at my house.

The Top 7 Disadvantages of Working From Home

7> Lack of porn filter of home PC has really decreased productivity, or increased it, depending on your view.

6> 56K connection makes downloading that 125MB Project file an all-day task.

5> It’s a little harder justifying the 22-year-old secretary [...]

Benefits of Working From Home

Administrator — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 22:11:31 +0000

I hate working here

The Top 8 Benefits of Working From Home

8> Only your spouse looks at you funny when you play your “Hannah Montana” CDs.

7> Photocopy your ass whenever the mood siezes you!

6> Commuting requires flip-flops and PJs.

5> Wear a dress to work without revealing your secret.

4> “I’m booked then, but I can squeeze you in [...]

Complaints of Fast Food Workers

Administrator — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 21:01:47 +0000

Caution: contents may be hot. And salty and fatty.

The Top 7 Complaints of Fast Food Workers

7> Your boss is 3 years younger than you.

6> You have to learn Spanish but don’t get any course credit for it.

5> Clown Herpes.

4> So many customers, just one “Special Sauce” dispenser.

3> After a few years, your milkshake no longer [...]

Inventions in Which to Spend Eternity

Administrator — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 08:01:20 +0000

NOTE FROM MARK:

The inventor of the Pringles can died and requested his ashes be buried in a Pringles can.

The Top 6 Inventions in Which to Spend Eternity

6> Emeril Lagasse: A KFC bucket.

5> Larry Craig: A… oh, wait! He was already buried in a bathroom stall!

4> Shirley MacLaine: Anything recyclable.

3> Andrew Lloyd Webber: a [...]

Projects Lingerie Engineers Are Working On

Administrator — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 07:58:08 +0000

The Top 7 Projects Lingerie Engineers Are Working On

7> Whatever it is, they are insisting on lots of in-house testing by real supermodels.

6> Bra with a fold-down flap to display nipple piercings.

5> Cellular Panties, to let your S.O. know not to call at the wrong time.

4> Lift bras that only go into “boost” mode when near single millionaires.

3> [...]

Ways to Torment the Interns

Administrator — Wed, 28 May 2008 08:08:02 +0000

NOTE FROM MARK:

Thanks to the folks in Marketing, we are glad to welcome some new unpaid interns to our ranks today. It is important though that these folks know their place.

The Top 7 Ways to Torment the Interns

7> Verify the boss is not drinking “pee” coffee.

6> Just like in Washington: stuff them under the [...]

Things You Shouldn’t Reveal on Your MySpace Page

Administrator — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:29:56 +0000

NOTE FROM MARK:

Employers are increasingly using the internet to find out personal information about prospective employees.

The Top 6 Things You Shouldn’t Reveal on Your MySpace Page

6> Word of the Day: non-contagious festering boil.

5> Heroes: Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, and my mom.

4> Friends: Senator Larry Craig.

3> Diet: Funyuns and Mountain Dew (unless applying for [...]

Jobs You Can Do While Running a Marathon

Administrator — Wed, 14 May 2008 07:07:55 +0000

NOTE FROM MARK:

Recently a runner had his life saved when he had heart attack right in front of a pack of running firefighters.

The Top 6 Jobs You Can Do While Running a Marathon

6> Fedex Ground Non-priority delivery person.

5> Internet Humour List Contributor.

4> Matthew McConaughey impersonator (shirtless races only).

3> Asthma inhaler tester.

2> Prison escapee.

and [...]