April 12th, 2006



MEMO FROM THE PREZ:
Beware your puppets. Someday, they may
rise up against us to dance and sing
with iron fists. Beware.


The Top 8 Drawbacks
of Being a Puppeteer


8> Develop a bad habit of talking with your hands.

7> The Freudian slip when she says, “I take thee, Fozzie… I mean….”

6> Over the years, you and your puppet start looking alike.

5> Miss Piggy gets her own dressing room, while I share the janitor’s closet.

4> I can get a date, but only if I spend half the evening talking like an idiot.

3> Ventriloquists always looking down on you.

2> Annoying whining from your puppet that he wants to be a real boy.

and the Number 1 Drawback of Being a Puppeteer…

1> Daily humiliating reminder of my crushed dreams of being a proctologist.




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Credits:

Selected from 19 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Richard W. Lipp, Lenexa, KS — 1 (Employee of the week!)
Bruce Kane, St. Louis, MO — 2
Mark Sweatt, Marietta, GA — 3, 5
William Wickart, Hillsboro, OR — 4, 7, Topic
Randy Travis, Wichita Falls, TX — 6, 8
K.W. Wyckham, Youngstown, OH — Banner Tag
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — President & CEO