June 18th, 2008
The Top 7 Complaints
of Fast Food Workers
of Fast Food Workers
7> Your boss is 3 years younger than you.
6> You have to learn Spanish but don’t get any course credit for it.
5> Clown Herpes.
4> So many customers, just one “Special Sauce” dispenser.
3> After a few years, your milkshake no longer brings all the boys to the yard.
2> Animal rights activists who mistakenly picket your “hamburger” place.
and the Number 1 Complaint of Fast Food Workers …
1> Puberty.
.
Credits:
Selected from 32 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 1, 5 (19th #1)
Victor Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 2
Glenn Anthony, San Jose, CA — 3, 6
John Shurniak, Limerick, SK — 4, 7
Doug Frank, Crosby, TX — Banner tag
Mark Sweatt, Marietta, GA — President & CEO
RUNNERS UP list — Too Slow
Being ignored in the androgynous mascot costume, while that clown
Ronald gets all the girls with his size 17 feet.
(Victor Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)
Sexual encounters after closing involving giant vats of catsup aren’t nearly as exciting as you might think.
(Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA)
Thanks, I really didn’t want to know what goes into the “special sauce.”
(Bruce Kane, Charlotte, NC)
The crushing irony of it all: K-Fed has to wear a hairnet while Britney has to wear a wig.
(Glenn Anthony, San Jose, CA)
The inability to fully wash away that “hamburger smell” is seriously undermining your love life. Except with morbidly obese people.
(Doug Frank, Crosby, TX)
The weird mix of biochemicals in the kitchen area air is reacting with their piercings.
(Doug Frank, Crosby, TX)
Unable to find realistic replacement pinkies for the ones that make it into the salads.
(Victor Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)
When you started your IQ was higher than your weight. Now, not so much.
(Glenn Anthony, San Jose, CA)
Runners Up list name
(G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa)
(Victor Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)
Sexual encounters after closing involving giant vats of catsup aren’t nearly as exciting as you might think.
(Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA)
Thanks, I really didn’t want to know what goes into the “special sauce.”
(Bruce Kane, Charlotte, NC)
The crushing irony of it all: K-Fed has to wear a hairnet while Britney has to wear a wig.
(Glenn Anthony, San Jose, CA)
The inability to fully wash away that “hamburger smell” is seriously undermining your love life. Except with morbidly obese people.
(Doug Frank, Crosby, TX)
The weird mix of biochemicals in the kitchen area air is reacting with their piercings.
(Doug Frank, Crosby, TX)
Unable to find realistic replacement pinkies for the ones that make it into the salads.
(Victor Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)
When you started your IQ was higher than your weight. Now, not so much.
(Glenn Anthony, San Jose, CA)
Runners Up list name
(G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa)
