The Top 9 Advantages
of Being a Guard Dog

9> Sniff any interesting crotch and get away with it.

8> Fat Rent-A-Cops *always* drop doughnut pieces.

7> Because, hey, I look *good* in the studded leather collar.

6> If the company gets a bad report, I get first pee on the Wall Street Journal.

5> Bite is assumed worse than my bark — which is *rad*.

4> And how many times has Mary Sue from Accounts Payable rubbed *your* naked belly for five minutes?

3> Sniff box carefully for traces of cocaine, and you’re good for the next four shifts!

2> It’s like being CEO: I get to chew anyone’s ass, any time, for no reason at all.

and the Number 1 Advantage of Being a Guard Dog…

1> Bitches always go for a dog with a badge.

.

Credits:

Selected from 23 submissions from 5 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 1, 8 (Employee of the week!)
William Wickart, Hillsboro, OR — 2, 4, 5, 6, 9 (Phat trick!) Topic
Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 3
Richard W. Lipp, Lenexa, KS — 7
K.W. Wyckham, Youngstown, OH — Banner Tag
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — President & CEO