Experts in “change” management.

The Top 7 Management Reasons
for Not Giving Raises in 2008

7> “It is part of our LEAN initiative: less money to live on, less food to eat, the leaner you get.”

6> “It’s not in the quarterly fiscal budget per the addendum to paragraph C in the Red handbook based off footnote G in the last fiscal period.”

5> “The filet mignon that I feed my pets has become more expensive.”

4> “Someone has to pay for the gas in the CEO’s Escalade.”

3> “The more you get, the more you’ll spend. And we don’t want to encourage that kind of runaway, compulsive behavior.”

2> “Still trying to get back our profits from investing in Enron.”

and the Number 1 Management Reason for Not Giving Raises in
2008…

1> “Less money = less paper = saving the rainforests.”

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Credits:

Selected from 22 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Doug Frank, Crosby, TX — 1, 3, Banner tag
Fletch McPherson, Jamaica, NY — 2
Bruce Kane, Charlotte, NC — 2, 4
Scott Halstead, Carson, CA — 5
Frank Boneno, Baton Rouge, LA — 6
Victor Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 7
Mark Sweatt, Marietta, GA — President & CEO

RUNNERS UP list — Cheap shots

Democratic National Committee: Actually gave out raises but Congress taxed it away.
(Ed Rodman, Ocean, NJ)

“If our workers earn a living wage, the terrorists will have won.”
(Victor Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)

“The cost of gasoline for our private helicopters and jets is killing us!”
(Victor Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)

“We can only afford raises for the top 5% (of income, *not* productivity).”
(Doug Frank, Crosby, TX)

“We have a lack of profitability. For details see the official report from the janitor’s assistant’s secretary’s assistant.”
(Doug Frank, Crosby, TX)

“We’re following President Bush’s lead of stimulating the economy with internal rebates.”
(Doug Frank, Crosby, TX)
(Fletch McPherson, Jamaica, NY)


Runners Up list name
(Doug Frank, Crosby, TX)