March 13, 2012
goes on extended hiatus. We hope, expect and have
our fingers crossed to return in a few months, though
we hope not as a midseason replacement on Saturday
night, which everyone knows is the TV programming
kiss of death. Read nothing into the fact that this
see-you-later list hinges on an actress whose character
was killed off a show that is now in its final season,
after [SPOILER REVEALED IN COURTROOM TESTIMONY].
We’ve appreciated your being there over these last
11 or so years, and hope you’ll come back when we do.
We also take this opportunity to thank our good friend
Barbara Dahl, frequent topic generator and world traveler,
and to reveal that she’s really [CLIFF HANGER].
Claims of Desperate Housewives
9> Forced to time-share sassy gay friend with other housewives.
8> The cooking, the cleaning. Her husband’s just not doing a very
good job of it.
7> Some of the other desperate housewives are neither.
6> Bitchiness bonus unfairly redistributed from boring old frumps
to hot new cul-de-sac neighbor.
5> Illegal entry. Aw yeah, we went there.
4> Loss of consortium, sole custody, breach of contract. Oh wait,
those are legal claims of *disparate* housewives.
3> Sexual harassment by Kucinich (Bree only).
2> The new pool boy is rejecting all of her advances.
Selected from 13 submissions from 5 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY — 1, 2, 7 (3rd #1 / Hat trick!)
David Kass, Queens, NY — 3
Barbara Dahl, Fairview, OR — 4, 6, 9, Topic (Hat trick!)
Guy Reeves, Houston, TX — 5, 8
Peg Warner, Rochester, NH — Remote Control