November 15, 2004      Share

The Top 9 Signs a Sports
Announcer Has Been Drinking

9> “Man, I hope they bring in a reliever soon — I’ve got to take
a wicked whizz.”

8> They’re three Mariano Rivera outs away from getting swept, and
this clown’s still yammering on like the Sox have a shot at
the series.

7> During a timeout, he leans over from the broadcasters’ table,
slaps Shaq on the ass and remarks “Nice free-throw shootin’,
ya big oaf!”

6> “My goodness, these Trailblazers certainly seem like a group
of clean-cut young gentlemen.”

5> His idea of color commentary seems to be periodically shouting
“BUTKUS!” into the mike for no particular reason.

4> “Bottom of a fifth, and man, am *I* loaded!”

3> He keeps reassuring his listeners they didn’t hear a belch;
it’s just the crowd chanting “Ber-r-r-r-rt!”

2> “So, Bob, I ever tell you about the first time I got laid?”

and the Number 1 Sign a Sports Announcer Has Been Drinking…
1> “The referee’s walking off a penalty. It’s 10, 15, 20… he’s
still walking… 45, 50 yards! A 50-yard penalty!!! Oh, wait –
it’s the end of the third quarter.”



Selected from 43 submissions from 14 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 1 (9th #1)
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 2
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 3, Commissioner, RU name
Bill Reilly, Golden, CO — 4, 5, 8 (Hat trick!)
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 4
Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR — 6
William Wickart, Hillsboro, OR — 7, Banner tag
Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA — 8
Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY — 9