June 29, 2009
Lakers’ recent victory parade. With all
the layoffs and slashed services nowadays,
it’s tough to justify lavish celebrations.
Money on a Victory Parade
9> Don’t close the roads. Kids love watching the marching band
dodge traffic!
8> Lose game 7.
7> Have local officials donate year-to-date bribes in exchange
for places on the lead float.
6> Avoid the problem entirely by becoming mayor of Kansas City,
San Diego, Sacramento or Cleveland.
5> “Get your programs here! Can’t tell the limo occupants without
a program!”
4> Persuade Obama that your parade is “too big to fail.”
3> Call it VictoryParade.com and see if any of those morons in
Silicon Valley will buy it.
2> Sacrifice bunting.
sell standing room only to everyone else. Heck, it works for
preseason games.
Selected from 35 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Joe Terranova, Lake Orion, MI — 1, 5, 8 (5th #1, hat trick!)
Lloyd Babcock, Flagstaff, AZ — 2
Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 3, 4
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — 6
Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 6
Roy Skogstrom, Pepeekeo, HI — 7
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 9, Commissioner