March 12, 2012      Share

NOTE FROM LARRY:
Top5 Sports, along with the other Little Fivers
lists, will be taking an extended hiatus for
a few months to regroup and find new ways
of getting our weekly topical humor to you.
Today will be our last list for a while.

The Top 9 Results If All Sports
Were Shut Down for the Next 6 Months

9> Out-of-work sports announcers start doing play-by-play at
grocery checkout stands.

8> Knowing he won’t be tested for a while, Manny Ramirez takes so
many female hormone supplements that he’s offered a Playboy
photo shoot.

7> Lots of free time for Tiger to hit on that hot counselor from
the sex addiction clinic.

6> With only politicians left to practice the fine art of
narcissism, the total ego content of the planet decreases by
50%.

5> Nerds report huge uptick in getting lucky.

4> Local bars begin to reek even deeper of testosterone and AXE
body spray as UFC fighters are released in to the wild to find
things to beat the snot out of.

3> Stadium seating built at popular Road Rage locations.

2> So many fine cheerleaders with nothing to do… can we really
make this happen?

and the Number 1 Result If All Sports Were Shut Down for the Next 6 Months…
1> Bud Light goes the way of the dodo, replaced by beers to which
people pay attention while drinking them.


.

Credits:

Selected from 28 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Roy Skogstrom, Pepeekeo, HI — 1, 2, 6, 9 (13th #1, Grand Slam)
Guy Reeves, Houston, TX — 3
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — 4
Leonard Topolski, Pearland, TX — 5
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 7, Commissioner
Glenn Anthony, San Jose, CA — 8

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