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January 28, 2011      Share

The Top 9 Advantages to Having Massive Balls

9> In the event of a water landing, they can be used as
a flotation device.

8> No one questions your manliness when you’re wearing a kilt.

7> Something to talk about with Dolly Parton.

6> Women at the bar believe your line that the AC/DC song was
written about YOU.

5> Your sperm are actually *larger* than your partner’s eggs.

4> “You haven’t got the ba– oh, wait… yes you do.”

3> If they’re too big to fit in your wife’s purse, maybe she’ll
let you keep ‘em.

2> Opposing pitchers stop aiming for your head.

and’s Number 1 Advantage to Having Massive Balls…
1> You can use both hands for the triangle, cymbal and percussion
parts without losing that timpani groove.



Selected from 49 submissions from 17 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 1 (19th #1)
Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA — 2
Doug Finney, Houston, TX — 3
Emily Fortner, Huntsville, AL — 4, 6 (Rookie!)
Leonard Topolski, Pearland, TX — 4, 6 (Rookie!)
Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY — 4
Sib Mandrake, Beaver Valley Junction, IA — 4
Victor Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 5
Chuck Cooke, Austin, TX — 7 (Rookie!)
Dan Thompson, Austin, TX — 8
Caladan Ravnos, Malaga, NJ — 9 (Rookie!)
Chris White, Los Angeles, CA — List owner/editor

RUNNERS UP list — Went Ballistic

Always a comfy spot to rest your laptop.
     (Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY)

Much less likely strangers will sit next to you on the bus.
     (Doug Finney, Houston, TX)

No one can blame that “swish, swish” sound down there on your
thunder thighs.
     (Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA)

Nobody is surprised when you tell them your name is Ann Coulter.
     (Kim Moser, New York, NY)

Oodles of new and different yoga positions you can try.
     (Caladan Ravnos, Malaga, NJ)

They keep you further away from the hooker.
     (Caladan Ravnos, Malaga, NJ)

When asked whether the pants make her ass look big, you can give
her a visual.
     (Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)

Your goals of keeping your woman to yourself but getting her into
bukakke are no longer mutually exclusive.
     (Doug Finney, Houston, TX)