NOTE FROM DAVE:

Once again, fans of the Star Trek franchise will
have to wait through the summer for the resolution
of an evil cliff hanger. All 17 fans of Enterprise
sat screaming at their TVs when the dreaded “To Be
Continued” appeared at the end of the season
finale. We thought some torture for the writing
staff would be appropriate.

The Top 10 Ways to Torture the
“Star Trek: Enterprise” Writers

10> Tell them they need to write episodes for guest stars Charro, Dr. Ruth and Carrot Top.

9> Withhold their bananas and take away their tire-on-a-rope swing.

8> Let *them* hang over that damn cliff for an entire summer… a real cliff.

7> Borrowing from the technology of “Total Recall,” they have to live through everything they’ve ever written.

6> William Shatner and Barney the Dinosaur are hired for script read-back.

5> In a room with an infinite number of monkeys sitting at an infinite number of typewriters, they’re each handed a single short-handled pooper-scooper.

4> Threaten them with a lack of sexual gratification. Oh, wait, that’s probably redundant.

3> “Guys, here are the Happy Meal toys. We need six consecutive new episodes and no redshirts.”

2> Play Yoko Ono at full volume until either their eardrums burst or they tell us what happens next.

and the Number 1 Way to Torture the “Star Trek: Enterprise”
Writers…

1> Stuff live Tribbles up their Jefferies Tubes, then send them into a room full of Klingons.

.

Credits:

Selected from 14 submissions from 5 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 1, 9, 10 (Hat trick!)
Genevre Wolf, Lakewood, Ohio — 2, 4, 8 (Hat trick!)
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 3
Vilyehm Teighlore, Tucson, AZ — 5, 6, 7 (Hat trick!)
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — Jedi Knight