NOTE FROM DAVE:

Today’s list marks my one-year anniversary of
moderating this list. It’s been lots of fun, and I
couldn’t do it without all my very funny contributors,
and the support of Chris and the gang at TopFive.com.
Thanks to all of them, and to all the readers.

The Top 10 Ways to Torture the
Moderator of Top5 Science Fiction

10> Kidnap his beloved Tickle Me Spock.

9> With the equipment on the blink again, an “unfortunate transporter accident” is all too easily arranged… don’t you think?

8> Tie him to a chair and force him to watch the “Buck Rogers in the 25th Century” marathon.

7> Confuse his pathetic robot brain with illogic, then strike just before his head explodes.

6> Slave girls from Orion. If that doesn’t work, then we send in the slave boys from Orion.

5> I expect one of those earwig-like Ceti Alpha eels borrowed from Khan will do the trick. (If not, we’ll at least get to hear him scream like Chekhov — a win/win situation, either way!)

4> Play him William Shatner’s version of “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds,” over and over.

3> Three words: lightsaber bikini wax.

2> The simple threat of a forced “mass grokking” with ALL the Top5 Science Fiction contributors should have him spilling his guts in no time.

and the Number 1 Way to Torture the Moderator of Top5 Science
Fiction…

1> Basic human decency prevents me from describing the process in detail, but it involves axle grease and tribbles.

.

Credits:

Selected from 29 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 1
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — 2, 5, 9, Topic (Hat trick!)
Mark Leonard, Sacramento, CA — 3
Genevre Wolf, Lakewood, Ohio — 4, 8
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 6
Jennifer A. Ford, Fort Wayne, IN — 7
Doug Crews, Oceanside, CA — 10
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — Rookie No More